Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Me, a gay white guy? Bwahahaha... Maybe in a previous life...

This is one of the topics that I fear would bite me back in the ass but what the heck. I have already mentioned it in a previous blog so there is no turning back. A friend of mine told me that I've opened up a can of worms so I have to 'fess up. I am also enjoying writing down my thoughts. It's exhilarating!

A co-worker of mine emailed me when I was in NY asking me what I thought about Wicked. I replied to him and told him that I looooved it, loved the songs and was going to watch it again before I go home (this was after I watched it for the first time). He just blurted out of the blue that it's too bad I am already a woman or else I would've made a great gay man. LOL! This really cracked me up and this is pretty much the reason why I felt that I should write this blog.

His statement got me thinking. What on earth have I been doing to merit a comment like that? Hey, gay men are great! I have first hand experience on how they are. A dear friend of mine is gay and I love him dearly. I would rather have him gay than straight. It's even better than having a great girl friend -- we go to jail in Columbia all the time (I've read that they throw you in jail for gossiping in Columbia) and we talk about boys (Matthew Fox and Ricky Martin are present most of the time in our conversations). I don't think I would have as much fun with him if he were straight. Plus HELLO?? I'm in San Francisco -- GAY CAPITAL OF THE WORLD! Of course, I took the statement as a compliment and told him that I may have been a gay white guy in my previous life.

Here are the reasons I came up with why I would've made a great gay white guy or why I may have been a gay white guy in my previous life. May not all be valid reasons but I'm writing them down. I felt that should make another list. ;)

1. Madonna and Cher. I have no explanation for liking these 2 women. They're good but they're not the best singers out there plus I like male singers and bands (not the boy bands but instead the REAL bands). I've heard from a reputable source that whenever these ladies release a new record, attendance at gay bars that play their songs are on the rise and 24 hr fitness play their songs.

2. My friend said that I can do the hair flip as well as any drag queen you've ever seen. Care for a demo? I dare you ask. LOL!

3. I loooooove theatre! I love musicals and showtunes! I will watch a show even if I have to go all by myself. I'm tired of missing good shows because I couldn't find anyone I know who was interested in watching it. For some reason, a co-worker mentioned that it's sooooo gay to go watch a show all by yourself (from a straight guy's point of view).

4. I think gay guys are HOT! HOT! HOT! Um, um, um! OMG! A lot of them are very cute and have great bodies. 6 pack abs baby! Lately, my friend has been having me look at pictures of hot papis. Woof! I can look at them for hours. I tend to cast them in the romantic novels that I read however I make them fit the part and they become straight and get paired with beautiful women! Just to give you an example, I casted this really cute gay guy with really great eyes as Mitchell in Every Breath You Take (Judith McNaught) and paired him off with Evangeline Lilly from Lost. Hahahahaha....

5. I obsess about paint colors. My friend David and I were looking at paint colors for weeks (I mean weeks!) for my house. In the end, we picked out 7 different colors. Yes, 7! It's not random colors and it looks FABULOUS on my walls! Just in case you're wondering, my living room is this very nice shade of orange. The official name on the Benjamin Moore website is Golden Harvest. Makes the room look alive. Hubby wanted to paint the entire house white and I thought it was boring.

6. Quoting a friend of mine, I have no problems calling a beotch a beotch if he/she acts as one. I'm surrounded by divas, drama queens and queen bees. Sometimes, I am one too!

7. I think of shopping as cardio. There is nothing more exhilarating than walking around the mall with both my arms carrying A LOT of shopping bags. Come to think of it, it is both cardio and weight training.

8. I think along the same lines (more of on the same gutter) as my friend who's gay. It's freaky sometimes because it seems that I can read his mind and he can read mine. You know what they say, birds of the same feather, tend to drink out of the same gutter... So it's either I'm a 45 year old gay white guy or he's a 30 year old Filipino lady!

9. My close friend in college calls me 'yot -- short for bayot, which is slang in Filipino for a gay guy. I call her the same thing.

No, I do not work out at 24 Hr fitness... (Watch the 40 year old Virgin)

I assure you I'm a girl through and through. My hubby can definitely attest that I am a girl. I have real boobs and all the right parts!

Yeah... I am crazy...

2 comments:

Beth said...

lol, hilarious! Love the blog!

Anonymous said...

oh_my_gawd! Too funny, but let me reassure you that you "would suck as a" gay guy since you are not so obsessed with hair, makeup and designer fashions. Showtunes and shopping doth not a gay white guy make.... think of your cousin.