Saturday, May 20, 2006

Mandatory Turning Older Blog

*** This blog is a few days late. I needed to experience being a year older for a few days before actually drawing any conclusions. ;) ***

Over the years, on my birthday, there is always at least 1 person asking me how it feels to be a year older. My standard answer has always been, I feel the same as I did yesterday. It makes me wonder if I am supposed to be feeling something different once the clock strikes 12 o'clock on the day of my birthday. Truth is, I really don't feel any different when I was a year younger. Seriously, I don't really feel like I am getting older -- well, except physically -- the aches, the pain, and other things that come with age are starting to announce their presence. A day, a month or a year probably wouldn't make me feel any different. However, ask me about how I am feeling now compared to how I felt 10 years ago and I would definitely be able to tell you the difference.

Ten years ago around this time, I was fresh out of school. Wide eyed, idealistic, ever so optimistic and ready to conquer the world and nothing could get in the way of all my dreams and aspirations. I felt like I was super woman. I jaywalked across busy streets filled with crazy drivers trying to avoid running me over. I went mountain climbing and even climbing slippery waterfalls. I wasn't afraid of anything. Lyrics from a song called I'm not afraid of anything written by Jason Robert Brown (Songs for a New world Soundtrack), nicely describes how I felt 10 years ago.
I'm not afraid of anything
Be it mountains, water, dragons, dark or sky
I'm not afraid of anything
Tell me where's the challenge if you never try
So watch me fly
I'm not afraid

Now, I'm just contented to let the world pass me by. I have gone further than I could ever have imagined 10 years ago. I have never thought I could be where I am right now and living the kind of life I live. Over the years, I've become more of a skeptic -- more of a I'll believe it when I see it type of person. I'm practical and a pragmatist. I have come to the realization that some of my dreams are and will remain as dreams and do not apply to the real world. Am I disappointed that not all my dreams are turning into reality? Nah... The odds are still pretty much in my favor. :)

Nope, I have not started counting backwards. :P

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