So ready to go home...

I am so ready to go home now. I fly out on Wednesday night. I really cannot wait. I'm feeling homesick. I miss Arvin (my hubby) and I miss my furbaby Jack. I miss seeing my saltwater aquarium as well. I just hope that everything is okay with it. I am really going to cry if my tank is dead because I've been away for so long.

I am sooooooooooooo tired. I usually don't sleep well when I travel and not being able to sleep well for a week is catching up on me. Eastern time sucks for me. I have trouble adjusting to the time whenever I go East.

In as much as I love coming to New York City, I don't think I can ever work/live here again. It's just too stressful for me. It's too crowded and people are always in a hurry. Sure, I miss going to Broadway shows since San Francisco is not much of a theatre town. But then again, I seem to be coming to NY a lot lately.

36 hours, 30 minutes and counting and I am flying out of here...

Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Babe I miss you, you know

--Michael Buble, Home

Wicked Stagedoor Picture with Eden

I normally don't like posting pictures of myself on my blog. A picture paints a thousand words and I'm the type who would rather write a thousand words than post a picture. However, I think this picture merits being posted on my blog -- not because of me (oh puuuhhllllleasssseeee... I wouldn't have posted it otherwise!) but because of who I'm with. I finally have a picture with Eden Espinosa! Yay! I'm a huge, huge fan. I loooove listening to her sing!


Thanks Illene for taking this picture. I totally forgot to bring a camera on this trip. Last time I attempted to have a picture taken, my camera crapped out on me.

Musicals (On this trip)

It's not a perfect show but it does what a musical is supposed to do. It takes you to another world and it gives you a little tune to carry along in your head for when you're feeling blue. --Man in Chair, The Drowsy Chaperone

Every time I am in NYC, I always, always make it a point to watch a musical. It’s something that I always do. I don’t think I have been to NYC and didn’t watch a show at all. It’s always on my to do list. I love going to a show. Watching a musical takes me to my happy place.

For this trip I went to 4 shows. I know, I know, I’m still here so it’s still possible for me to go to 1 more show but I doubt it since I have plans tomorrow and on Tuesday. Anyways, I went to watch Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, Wicked, Altar Boyz and 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee. I really enjoyed these 4 shows.


Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (8/15/2006)

I flew in on Tuesday and got into the city at around 5:30PM. Checked into the hotel and ran to TKTS since I wanted to squeeze in a show that night. DRS was on the board and at 50% off so I got a ticket for it. My seats were pretty good. 3rd row stage left. There was an overhang that blocked some parts of the scenery but it wasn’t that bad.

I love, love, love, love Sherie Rene Scott! I didn’t even know she was still in the show. It was a very nice surprise. I’ve never seen her live but I keep on listening to the cast recording of The Last 5 Years where she sings the part of Kathy. I love, love, love her voice! It has this distinct sound and is so full of emotion. I’m so happy that I actually got to see her perform live!

The show started a little bit slow for me. I had a hard time understanding some of the characters in the beginning because of the accent they used (British and French). After a while you get used to it. When Sherie Rene Scott came out, I was blown away by her voice!

It was a fun show. I really liked it. Lots of catchy tunes and it was pretty funny. I was laughing throughout the entire show. Too bad it’s closing in 2 weeks.

It was a ball… It was a blast…


Wicked (8/18/2006)

Umm… need I say more? I blogged and entire blog just for this. Scroll down below. ;) Yes you can do it.... Keep pressing the arrow key down. You'll eventually get there!


Altar Boyz (8/19/2006)

I got my ticket off TKTS for this one. I actually passed by the box office to see if they still had the rush seats for the matinee performance. They didn’t but TKTS had it for 50% off as well. My seat was on the second row, stage left.
This show was HILARIOUS! It was like a boy band rock concert. I was laughing my ass off during the entire show.

Jason Celaya is a hottie! :D

I normally don’t go watch Off Broadway shows. Since I seem to be running out of shows to watch, I’m slowly venturing towards Off Broadway shows.



25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee (8/20/2006)

I didn’t have anything better to do today. I decided to go try my luck at the Wicked lottery. I can’t remember how many times I’ve tried the Wicked lottery and so far I have not won. (Anyways, last Friday is probably the last time I’ll watch Wicked for a while unless I can get my butt back to NYC to see Eden’s last show in October.) The Spelling Bee’s lottery happens right after the Wicked lottery so I put my name in. I was thinking that if I still didn’t win, I’d head to the Drowsy Chaperone lottery and try my luck there. So they picked out the names and my name was the last one that got picked! So I got front row seats.

I’ve seen the San Francisco production of the show a while back and I liked it. I’m familiar with the songs. It was nice to actually see this show on Broadway. No offense to the SF cast but I liked the Broadway cast a lot better. I really enjoyed the show. The big plus for me was I got to see Barrett Foa again! He’s such a cutie! :D I saw him in Avenue Q when I went to see it 2 months ago.


I really can’t wait for the new theatre season to start. I’m running out of shows to watch. Well, there are still shows I haven’t watched but for the reason that I just do not have the desire to watch them. Oh please… I don’t need jukebox musicals or musicals that have been adopted from movies (ok, DRS was from a movie but I never saw the movie).

NYC Again...Wicked Again...

I just realized that it has been 2 months since I last blogged. It is such a coincidence that the last entry on my blog was about my last trip to New York City. Yeah, I am back in the big apple again for work. I was actually supposed to go home tomorrow (well, technically today since it's already 4 in the morning) however, I needed to extend to finish a bunch of things in the office. The problem is I didn’t bring enough clothes with me.

You might be wondering what the heck I am doing still up in the wee hours of the morning. I had too much sugar so I am fully wired. Thanks to a HUGE serving of Frozen Hot Chocolate at Serendipity 3 and the adrenalin that has been pumping through my system almost all day long in anticipation to watching Wicked from "god" seats that I scored for free. :D

Yes my friends, I did go to watch Wicked again for the 4th time. My seat was amazing! I was seated at Row C Seat Number 106. Yup, about 2 seats off dead center on 7th row. Awesome sight lines -- well, they should be for premium seats (re: EXPENSIVE!) at the Gershwin theatre. Close enough to see facial expressions but far enough to not see spit flying out. I felt like the actresses and actors were singing directly to me which in itself was an awesome experience. Think Elphaba looking down straight at you while flying off on her cherry picker holding a broom and singing Defying Gravity.

Here's my mini review of tonight's performances by the different actresses/actors in the show (8/18 uummmm... last night?).

Eden Espinosa (Elphaba)

She's amazing as always. She gets better and better each time I see her perform in Wicked. I've seen her in Wicked 4 times. She has definitely grown into the role. She plays this role with so much heart and soul that when she's on stage, she IS Elphaba. That's something that I actually love about her performance. I thought I've seen almost all the nuance that she could possibly bring into the role. However, each time I go and watch the show, I never fail to find something new that she brings into the show. Hand gestures, riffs and how she stings her notes together. I absolutely love listening to Eden sing live. She has such a broad range in her voice and she is such an unbelievable belter. It feels like she’s trying to blow the top off the Gershwin Theatre when she belts. You know what they say about being able to find everything on the Internet. Sure, there are clips of her singing songs from Wicked however, there's nothing like listening to Eden sing live on stage. I know when I'm listening to a very good singer (at least in my opinion) when I get goose bumps and the hair behind my neck starts standing up. There are a few singers that have that kind of effect on me and Eden is definitely one of them. I just love the sound of her voice.

You're probably wondering how many more times I would be watching Wicked before I get sick and tired of it. Ummm... well, I can still count on one hand the number of times that I've watched it. Then again, wanting to hear Eden sing live has really been the driving factor on why I keep on coming back to watch the show. In as much as I love the show itself, there are parts of it that I don't really care about anymore (It starts to become fluff after the 3rd time). I would still be willing to pay premium seat price just to listen to Eden sing "The Wizard and I", "I'm Not That Girl", "Defying Gravity" and "No Good Deed". Hehehe... I just realized that it comes out to around $75 per song if you’re in a premium seat. LOL! The other parts of the show is pretty much added bonuses at this point. I heard she's leaving in October. Will I still be watching Wicked once she leaves? Well, it really depends on who's replacing her. I would probably go and watch the replacement at least once just to see how well she performs.

I met her at the stage door after the show and I finally have a picture with her to prove it! Yay! I'll post it when I get a chance... Hopefully it won't take 2 months before I get to do it.


Kate Reinders (Glinda)

Kate has definitely gotten better. The first time I saw her, I wasn't really impressed but tonight (last night?) I really enjoyed her performance. Her rendition of Popular was hilarious! I absolutely loved it. She portrayed the role in a very ditsy manner -- having to risk being un-PC, she portrayed it as the typical blonde in the blonde jokes that you hear everywhere. She and Eden have great chemistry.

Looking back the first time I saw her, I may have been a little bit biased and was really comparing her performance with Megan Hilty's performance which really wasn't fair since when I saw Megan, she had been in her role for quite some time and when I first saw Kate, she was in her role for only about 2 weeks. I'm actually glad to see that she's growing into the role.


Carol Kane (Madame Morrible)

This was the 3rd time I've seen Carol Kane in this role. The first 2 times that I saw her, I had a hard time understanding what she was saying because of the weird accent that she was using. It doesn’t bother me now. This time, I wasn't really concentrating much on the story anymore (I was looking for small details that I never noticed the first 3 times) since I pretty much know it by heart and most of the lines are familiar (no, I can't memorize them). I enjoyed her performance a lot more tonight.


David Garrison (The Wizard)

This is the 2nd time I've seen David Garrison. I've always enjoyed his portrayal of the wizard of Oz. Whatever little material he's got, he played it really well. I don't really care much for the songs sang by the Wizard.


Derrick Williams (Fiyero)

This is the 4th time I've seen Derrick Williams in this role. I'm not really a fan of him. There's just that something’s not right about his performance. Something's missing. He's not a bad actor at all. He has a nice butt and arms. I'm just not impressed by his singing voice. I guess it's because I absolutely love Norbert Leo Butz's voice in the Original Broadway Cast Recording for Wicked (I love his work period). After seeing him for the first time, whenever I go back and watch the show, I keep on wishing that an understudy or standby would be playing Fiyero’s role during that performance. Sorry Derrick if you happen to stumble upon this. Although tonight (last night?) he actually sounded better. I guess the acoustics at the Gershwin is better when you're sitting at the premium seats. :)


Logan Lipton (Boq)

I miss Robb Sapp! I really didn't care about Logan Lipton's portrayal of Boq. I was not impressed at all -- acting wise and voice quality wise. I should really give him the benefit of the doubt since he's new. Hopefully he'll grow into the role as well.


Jenna Leigh Green (Nessarose)

This is the second time I've seen her in Wicked. Great voice and good actress as well. I loved her portrayal of Nessarose. I wish she had a lot more stage time (is there such a thing?) and she had more songs to sing.

Ok, this blog is long and I need to go to bed since I don't want to sleep through the weekend in New York city. I did get to watch the Dirty Rotten Scoundrels -- I'll write a separate entry for it. Promise.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

*** I wrote this early this morning however I was having problems posting it on blogger. So it’s a little bit behind.

NYC Trip

I was in New York City all of last week. I have been meaning to blog something about my trip but my schedule was really hectic when I was there. The main purpose of my visit was for a training class. Class pretty much took up my time during the day. My nights were dedicated to Broadway shows.

Speaking of Broadway shows, I had a 4 show quota I wanted to meet for that week. That pretty much meant a show each night except for Monday night when most of the theatres were dark. Well, there were some shows that were playing on Monday night but I didn't have the desire to see them.

Tuesday (6/13/06):

A friend and I tried to get tickets for Wicked however we struck out on both the lottery and the cancellation line. It's almost impossible to get tickets for Wicked at this time of the year when tourists start flocking to New York city. We met up with 2 other friends from JMBB (Judith McNaught message board) and they suggested that we try The Drowsy Chaperone lottery. I won us 2 tickets to TDC! We got front row center orchestra seats for TDC. Not bad for $25.

I didn't know anything about the show. It pretty much started off with the theatre completely pitch black and you hear someone saying: "I hate theatre!". After that line, I knew I was going to enjoy that show. I loved The Drowsy Chaperone! I saw a lot of myself in the Man in the Chair character in the show. Bob Martin rocks! It was pretty hilarious. I was laughing throughout the show. The music wasn't that great however, the cast was wonderful and the story was original and very unique.

Wednesday (6/14/06):

I had tickets for Avenue Q. I liked this show. It's pretty much an adult Sesame street. I wish I didn't listen to the soundtrack beforehand. I think I would've been a lot more shocked that they used certain kind of language and showed "adult" scenes. It's very humorous and un-PC. So if you're a prude, this isn't the show for you. Barrett Foa is such a hottie!

Thursday (6/15/06):

I was pretty much undecided on what to watch for this night. I decided to try the Wicked lottery (again!) and struck out (again!). There were around 300 people who tried out for the lottery that night.

I headed off to the TKTS booth to get half priced ticket for either the Dirty Rotten Scoundrels or Sweeney Todd. My first choice was DRS since I was not too sure if I really wanted to watch Sweeney Todd since the story is kind of dark and gruesome. By the time I got to TKTS, there were no more tickets for DRS so I bought tickets for Sweeney Todd.

I am so glad that I actually got to see Sweeney Todd with the current cast. The show was amazing! The cast was so talented. It just blew me away. I felt so lucky that I got to see Patti Lupone, Michael Cerveris and Manoel Felciano on stage. Michael was freaky as Sweeney Todd. He actually looked scary when he was on stage. The staging was quite interesting. The cast doubled as the orchestra. At times, it was kind of distracting that they were acting and had musical instruments with them.

Friday (6/16/06):

Did you think that I would visit New York City and not watch Wicked? My co-workers and I managed to get tickets for Wicked. They were second row left orchestra seats. The seats were alright. There were times that the ensemble would be blocking some of the scenes but it wasn't too bad. The big plus sitting this close was actually seeing Eden Espinosa's facial expressions. She has wonderful facial expressions! She's just so full of emotion whenever she's on stage. This is the third time I've seen Eden perform in Wicked. She just gets better and better each time I see her. She totally blew me away with her performance. Magnificent voice! Such a wonderful singer and actress. This was the first time I saw Kate Reinders as Glinda. she was great in her role. She played Glinda a little bit more ditzier than Megan Hilty. Kate has great vocal control and she was pretty funny. I still liked Megan Hilty as Glinda although my co-workers who saw Wicked for the first time liked Kate's performance.

My week just flew too fast. After the last show for that week, I just wanted to go back to the hotel, pack my clothes and I was ready to go back home to the Bay Area.

Me the Workaholic

It's 8pm on a Tuesday night and here I am still at work. I am pretty much watching grass grow on one of my servers so it's a really good time to blog. Plus, I have not written anything for a while.

The past few weeks, my life has been consumed by work, work, work and more work. It's just that there are so many things going on at the same time at work. My hours are prety much 9AM to 6PM however, when I get home, I cannot help but whip out my laptop, VPN to the office and continue where I left off.

I really enjoy what I do that's why I don't mind the long hours. Everything I do looks like play to me. My servers, SAN and other IT equipment are my toys. I look at every problem as a challenge and a puzzle I need to solve. Makes things really easy for me.

My name is Carmila and I am a WORKAHOLIC!

Bay to Breakers 2006

I survived Bay to Breakers! For those who don't know what Bay to Breakers is, it's a 7.46 mile (12k) run/walk that starts at one end of San Francisco and cuts across the city and ends at the beach. It's pretty much the biggest street party in San Francisco. People run in different states of dress (some in costumes) and undress (naked with just a bright green hat and running shoes).

I had so much fun doing it this year. A friend of mine and her husband ran (ok, more like walked) it with me. We had such a blast and pictures to prove it! At the starting line, there were beach balls and tortillas flying all over the place. It was impossible not to get hit by either one. While running/walking, we saw the four emus, the running Elvises, a celtic priest, nuns, the Flintsones, smurfs, spawning salmon, Mona Lisa/Da Vinci code, the Storm Troopers from Star Wars, Noah's Ark, a Wells Fargo semi trailer being pushed up on Hayes Street, beer kegs in shopping carts being pushed along the race course and lots and lots of naked people. In the beginning, we were on the look out for naked people. After a while, we just got so desensitized and didn't really care. Although, everytime we were behind a naked person, we would run and try to overtake them. We just didn't feel like looking at their butts the entire time.

Last time I ran/walked Bay to Breakers was in 2000. I also ran it with a friend of mine. I clocked at 2:45. I broke my record this year. I clocked at 2:24. Not that I had any intention of running the entire time but B2B is actually quite impossible to run. I saw on the news today that there were approximately 62,000 people who participated in today's footrace.

What's next? I'm probably going to run the 5k run/walk event during the San Francisco Marathon in July. At least this way, I would be motivated enough to actually train for the Disneyland Half Marathon in September.

Mandatory Turning Older Blog

*** This blog is a few days late. I needed to experience being a year older for a few days before actually drawing any conclusions. ;) ***

Over the years, on my birthday, there is always at least 1 person asking me how it feels to be a year older. My standard answer has always been, I feel the same as I did yesterday. It makes me wonder if I am supposed to be feeling something different once the clock strikes 12 o'clock on the day of my birthday. Truth is, I really don't feel any different when I was a year younger. Seriously, I don't really feel like I am getting older -- well, except physically -- the aches, the pain, and other things that come with age are starting to announce their presence. A day, a month or a year probably wouldn't make me feel any different. However, ask me about how I am feeling now compared to how I felt 10 years ago and I would definitely be able to tell you the difference.

Ten years ago around this time, I was fresh out of school. Wide eyed, idealistic, ever so optimistic and ready to conquer the world and nothing could get in the way of all my dreams and aspirations. I felt like I was super woman. I jaywalked across busy streets filled with crazy drivers trying to avoid running me over. I went mountain climbing and even climbing slippery waterfalls. I wasn't afraid of anything. Lyrics from a song called I'm not afraid of anything written by Jason Robert Brown (Songs for a New world Soundtrack), nicely describes how I felt 10 years ago.

I'm not afraid of anything
Be it mountains, water, dragons, dark or sky
I'm not afraid of anything
Tell me where's the challenge if you never try
So watch me fly
I'm not afraid

Now, I'm just contented to let the world pass me by. I have gone further than I could ever have imagined 10 years ago. I have never thought I could be where I am right now and living the kind of life I live. Over the years, I've become more of a skeptic -- more of a I'll believe it when I see it type of person. I'm practical and a pragmatist. I have come to the realization that some of my dreams are and will remain as dreams and do not apply to the real world. Am I disappointed that not all my dreams are turning into reality? Nah... The odds are still pretty much in my favor. :)

Nope, I have not started counting backwards. :P

Da Vinci Code Quest on Google

I've been playing the Da Vinci Code Quest on Google for several weeks. It finally ended today and I'm actually quite pleased with my performance. I did manage to finish all 24 puzzles. Today was the deadline and I finished mine yesterday. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I'm included in the first 10,000 participants who finished all 24 puzzles. They're sending out a replica of the cryptex to the first 10,000 participants and I really want one! Too bad, I won't know until Monday if I am in the first 10,000 participants.

Solving problems is a strength of mine however, I pretty much suck at solving puzzles. I'm actually amazed at how well I did on this quest. Well, you know what they say, Google knows everything and Google is my friend. :)

Only in Dallas

It's been almost a week since I came back home from Dallas. I have several pictures on my Treo that I felt I should post in here. I know, I know, it's a phone, takes crappy pictures but I have it with me all the time so I can just whip it out and snap away.

Anyways, here are a few pictures that I took in Dallas on my Treo.

Dallas Galleria Mall. There are malls everywhere in Dallas. It's a shopping utopia and at the same time purgatory for my credit card.




Reunion Center Ball (ok, maybe I'm making the name up). Anyways, I went up on the ball's observation deck.




Dallas skyline. I took this from the Reunion Center observation deck.






This is from Fogo de Chao. Look closely and you'll see the ribs turning round and round getting cooked. I've never eaten so much meat in my life!



Ummmm... They made it sound like ordering something from a fast food restaurant. I wonder if someone ever goes in and orders condoms "for here".

More of Nothing

Dallas, Day 5:

It's my 5th day in Dallas and Murphy is still screwing around with me. I'm supposed to be going home tomorrow. Everything supposed to be already done but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... Murphy had to screw things up.

My favorite word is NOTHING on this trip. NOTHING is working. NOTHING is done. There is NOTHING to see and NOTHING to do in this city. NOTHING I can do but extend my stay for 2 more days and see more of NOTHING.

Yeah, I am bitter so back off and let me be.

Murphy's Law

Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.

I have been a victim of Murphy's law this week. I have been in Dallas for the past 2 days to set up the new office. The first day I walked in the new space, my jaw just dropped. I was in shock, cables were hanging loose, furniture was not installed, the patch panel was not installed, the MPLS circuit was installed in the wrong end of the suite, the rack, printer and a lot of other stuff have not been delivered. Total nightmare! Day 2, our MPLS circuit is still not up and it's the most important thing of all. Everything is supposed to be done by Monday. ARRGGGHHHHH...........

Well Murphy, if you're reading this, back off... You're screwing things up!

Everything is HUGE in Texas

I've had a lot of people tell me that everything is HUGE in Texas. I believe it now! Food servings are HUGE, cows are HUGE, even our rental car's HUGE!

I was in Austin Tuesday and Wednesday this week (4/18 & 4/19). It's supposedly a fun town to be in. Unfortunately, I didn't really have any time for fun in Austin. It was work, work, work. Worked late on Tuesday and then had to drive up to Dallas Wednesday night. I only saw the Austin office, the roof of the state capitol, my room at the Omni hotel and County Line BBQ!

Speaking of County Line BBQ, it's the best barbecue I have tasted. Servings were HUGE (of course!) and everything was homemade even the ice cream. I didn't want to leave Austin without going to a landmark restaurant. On the wall, they have pictures of their cows and they are HUGE! They also have a stuffed head of a cow.


See the 3 neon pigs on top of the sign? The pigs turn neon pink when they jump over the BBQ pit. Cute...




Here's the MOTHER OF ALL COWS! This cow is freakin' HUGE! She must've been really special. I bet she tasted really good!




What would you do if you had this stuffed head staring at you while you were eating ribs? I kept on eating.





Cows, cows and a cowboy. Yep, there's cow pictures everywhere.






Meat, meat and more meat.








Even the bread is HUGE!






Oh yeah, we (my co-worker and I) had a pimped out ride. The rental company gave us a Cadillac Escalade ESV. I tell you, that is a big ass car! The freakin' thing is like a truck! We decided to exchange it for a smaller SUV (Ford Explorer) before we kill someone with the HUGE SUV. It was fun while it lasted.




Now, this is what I call a BIG ASS TRUCK!




HUGE, HUMONGOUS, GARGANTUAN, BEHEMOTIC, COLOSSAL, IMMENSE, JUMBO, KING-SIZE, MAMMOTH, ENORMOUS, GIGANTIC, ELEPHANTINE, HULKING, ETC... ETC... That my friend is Texas!

Life is Pandemonium

Some time not too long ago (feels like it was just yesterday but I know it's longer), I felt like I had nothing to do. I had all the time in the world to slack off, surf the web, watch TV/DVDs, read books and just do nothing. Heck, I was even complaining that I was bored and begging people to give me something to do at work.

Funny how things turn out almost overnight. All of a sudden, I get a long list of things to do (yes, that's why I haven't been blogging lately). A lot of them seem to start at the same time and the deadlines are in proximity of one another. I feel that 24 hours is too short and 7 days in a week is not enough. Everyone seems to need me to do something and I also have personal goals that I need to achieve. I am being pulled in different directions.

My life is pandemonium, yet I love it. It's all about the challenge, baby! :)

Sacrifices

I have a good life. I'm very thankful for all the blessings that have come my way. I have a loving husband. I have a good job. We're financially stable. We have our own place. We have a somewhat well behaved dog. We get to do the things we want and buy the things that we need and want.

I really have nothing much to complain about my life. Well, except maybe for the fact that we're so far away from family and friends. It really sucks being so far away. I guess this is the price I have to pay for having the kind of life that I currently have. I keep on missing events in the lives of people that matter to me. I have not seen my family in almost a year. I haven't seen a lot of my friends in about 3 years. Today's my brother's wedding. It's my only sibling's wedding and I cannot even be there. It really stinks but there's really nothing much I can do about it except sulk.

We have to make our own sacrifices and this is one of mine. Oh well, that's life...